Blogging The Friendship Factor. Chapter 6, part 1

Chapter 6. Neglect this and watch your friends flee

This chapter is on the very human (and fallen) tendency to try to control others.

“To see if you fit into this category, give yourself a test...” And the test follows.

Well, yes, but....

Psalm 139:23-24a (NASB95)
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me...”

Psalm 26:2. (NASB95)
“Examine me, O Lord, and try me;
Test my mind and my heart.”

1 Corinthians 4:3-4 (NASB95)
“But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord.”

One of the dangers of “give yourself a test” is that some of us always pass with flying colors, no matter what. And others get bogged down in condemnation, no matter what.

Let God search, let God examine. Use the “test” to allow God to speak. Our flesh has a tendency to lurch off in one direction or another. Do not let it have a chance to get a word in. Go directly to God and ask Him what is up.

Now to the test:

a. Do we usually end up going to the restaurant or movie I prefer?
b. Do I enjoy correcting factual errors in other people's conversation?
c. Do I use humor to put down my friends?
d. Do I have to know more about a topic than others to feel comfortable discussing it?

You know what? If we are honest, we are all going to fail that test, or some variation of it.

Controlling people to get what we want is part of the basic operating system of fallen humanity. We need to treat it as a "bug, not a feature." We can become very skilled in controlling and manipulating others. But it is a "bug."

This failing is a direct result of rejecting God as Lord of our lives. If we do not give Him control of our lives, we have to be in control ourselves. And we will use the techniques of control to get what we want, rather than trust God for what we need.